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Submitted on
January 10, 2013


4 (who?)
Y'all are some foolish people, you got that?

No, of course I'm not actually Tara. Are you all really that bleedin' stupid? I was never Tara, and I never will be. Listen up.

Odds are, you will never find Tara. It's possible that she's out there, somewhere on the Internet. Is she continuing to write fanfiction in the My Immortal Style? Probably not. My Immortal is (or, more accurately, should be) old news by now. It was published all the way back in 2006, and it's now 2013. Why are we all still so obsessed with it?

Most of you who view this page have probably fallen victim to the easy comedic value of the fanfiction. The characterization is poor, the prose is lazy, there's no semblance of a continuity, the grammar is atrocious, and it's blatant wish-fulfillment. It utilizes a startlingly stupid generalization of the Goth subculture, reverting it to what we can now call the Goffik subculture: copious amounts of eye makeup, Tim Burton, and Hot Topic receipts, all stewed together to create angsty teenagers striving to be more unique than their peers, but at the same time wishing to appear as if they aren't trying. Not only does it completely twist the image of the Goth subculture, it also distorts the image of Satanism (which many level-headed individuals belong to, though I am not one of them).  Controversial topics abound, such as sex, rape, violence, self-harm, death, exploration of sexuality (in extremely odd ways that nearly make light of the topic), and the isolation that teenagers face in everyday situations.

Obviously, these are presented in such a way that we view them as ludicrous caricatures instead of believable plot devices - which they are. The awful spelling, grammar, characterization, plot, and formatting near-instantly turn us into judgmental elitists. My Immortal is such an easy target that we all take advantage of it. We hold it up on a pedestal, screaming that this should be the locus of our attention! And why do we do it? Maybe because it's easy entertainment; maybe because we seek to present ourselves as well-read individuals who can pick apart the worst of literature. We're attracted to give trolls attention, whether we believe that Tara is a troll or not. Your stance on that issue doesn't entirely matter, however.

I think at the root of our constant desire to poke fun at this fanfiction is insecurity. Of course, you'll all be rolling your eyes at this point, but you know what? There is a bad writer in all of us - whether we are bad writers at the moment or whether it's our shame from the past. There's a bit of Tara, a bit of Jenna, and a bit of Laura in all of us. We've all written horrible Mary Sues, whether they be shameless self-inserts or simply ludicrously overpowered individuals who slowly take over the entire story in our rampant desire to make them out as the best character ever. We've all written stories where we try to fulfill our own wishes rather than those of the readers - or the one that the story actually needs to tell. We've all striven to be the most unique amongst our peers. Girls, have any of you ever used the phrase not like other girls or claimed that you only hang out with guys because girls are 'too much drama?' Guys, have you ever described yourself as one of the only nice guys out there? Have you ever claimed to be better than another fan because they haven't read or watched as much of a series as you have? Have you ever rolled your eyes at someone who just barely discovered your favorite band? Have you ever directly attacked the fans of Twilight instead of addressing the issues of the series? And - I'm sure this one will ring true with a lot of you - have any of you ever lorded your music taste over those who listen to Justin Bieber, One Direction, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Britney Spears, or Rihanna?

We all need to be realistic with ourselves here. Whether it's now or in our pasts, we've all been Tara. Maybe not to the extent of My Immortal, oh no; we all have different stages, and some of us never reach that extreme. And maybe not all of us have actually shared our horrid creations on the Internet, where older, more experienced people can laugh and poke fun at our stories and art, tearing them apart bit by bit. My own horrible creations - well, some of them are on the Internet (where they shall stay), and some of them are safely locked away in dusty diaries, untouched for years. I want you to sit long and hard and think about what you've locked away. Now pretend you put it on the Internet and thousands of people are now criticizing it. Does that define you as a person now? Are you still that person?

Most likely, Tara is still out there somewhere. And most likely, she's grown as a writer and a person. She probably does not continue her crusade against 'prepz' anymore. She may still be into MCR and Good Charlotte. She may still love Tim Burton films and boys with cool haircuts. She may have read the Harry Potter books at last, or decided to leave that ugly part of herself behind her. She may even be a Satanist, for better or worse. But I doubt that she is the same person who began typing out My Immortal's first chapter back in 2006.

We can all debate about where Tara is now for ages, but I'm going to advise you all to stop your personal journeys to find Tara and rip her apart again. Since she hasn't logged into her account again to post new stories, we should all take that as a clue that she no longer wants to be associated with her past with XXXbloodyrists666XXX. This means that Tara has moved on, and you all should as well. People change and grow. She has matured somewhat and moved on; it's time for you to as well.

When we grow as artists, we grow as people; and when we grow as people, we grow as artists.

I wish you all - including the real Tara - the best. Happy belated holidays, and I hope you will put your time into something more constructive and healthy in the future.

With love,
A writer.
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Requited - Homestuck OST
  • Reading: The Annotated Brothers Grimm
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Lena-Uchiha8 Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, you kinda did create this page as a "Tara Poser" so, you should have expected people to believe you were her.
It's not that the people were stupid to believe it, it was mostly that you lead them to believe it.
And also, it's stupid that people said "Tara ruined *insert fandom* for me" because if you're weak enough to let ONE person ruin a whole show for you, then you weren't truly a fan to begin with.
Anyway, I just a week or so ago learned about what My Immortal was and just like, 3 days or so ago I finally read the whole story[[all that was posted, rather]].
IF you didn't want people to think you were Tara or talk to you as you were, why'd you make this page in the first place, that's what I'm curious about.
It seems like you originally created this account to belittle Tara, and then started to feel bad about it so you made this journal, and blamed it on other people.
*shrugs* I don't know what the whole point of this account was.
I never was obsessed with making fun of My Immortal anyway, it was to stupid to make fun of like that, and I never really wanted to find the real Tara. I just heard that this was her real account, so I wanted to check it out.
Maybe a little part of me was really curious if this was real, and if I might possibly be able to see if she's gotten any better since then, but I didn't expect this to be her real account anyway.
HyperDeanPie Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I agree with you on that totally.

I admit, I've had my pokes with Tara here and there, but overall, I have been in that phase too. I mean hell, when I was 15/16 I was defined as emo. I was cutting back then, crying all the time for stupid reasons, etc. Plus when I first created female characters back then, especially the two main ones I still use now? They are HUGE mary sues back then. It took me YEARS of finding the right story, inspiration, and molding until I made those two characters healthy and well-balanced with flaws. As of now, one of them is in a major role in my manga project I am working on to make it successful.

I know Tara is still alive and somewhere out there. Which I hope she is because I'm sure by now, she's probably thinking "My Immortal was a lame story and I am growing stronger as a writer and character development." Hell, I can see her even reinvent Ebony overtime and keep making changes to her to where Ebony is a nice and healthy character. AWho knows? We might ever see her character in an original published story someday. We've all had our rough times, but we do grow out of it and mature.

These are wise words you have said. Well put. :)
BloodOnTheVeil Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow. I couldn't agree more with this.

I must admit, I've poked fun at Tara before and criticized My Immortal a lot when I first discovered it nearly a year ago. I admit that I've written a funny story starring her and Raven being wannabe goth posers at high school and how my characters plan to humiliate them. Hell, I can even admit that I have tried to find her, but I soon realized, what's the point? Tara hasn't been active for four years now and, like you said, you won't find her. Is finding her really that important now? Don't people have better things to focus on other than trying to track down some chick that wrote a terrible story?

Yes, we have all been like Tara, even if we deny it. I've had phases before, some short and some longer. I was similar to Tara when I was 14/15. I claimed I was 'emo'. I dressed in black a lot (and didn't like to wear much colour), criticized pop music and loved MCR. When I look back, I feel stupid. I don't know about Tara, but I'm sure that if she's still out there, she probably feels the same way about My Immortal: Stupid. But that's how a lot of us feel when we look back at our younger phases. I was idiotic when I was 11/12 when I used to make silly South Park videos on YouTube (It was how I would spend boring free time) and even when I turned 16, I wrote my first chapter story. It was bad and the main character was a Gary Stu. It just didn't get famous like My Immortal did. When I first write things, I look back on them and think that they are either bad, cliche, or just needs rewriting. Unfortunately, that's just part of my personality: perfectionist.

So anyway, overall, I love how you've written this. And to all those who are trying to find Tara? Stop, okay? I'm sure that no matter how boring you may think your lives are, there is something a lot better you could be doing. You won't find Tara. End of. (Let's not forget the ridiculous amount of troll accounts that claim they are Tara) And even if you do, what use is it going to do? She's old news now, and has probably matured, so leave her be.

Last off, we've all been like Tara at some point during our lives. We've all had obsessive phases. We just weren't infamous like she was.

Thank you.
Useful-Toxican Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
haha xD you had me fooled for a little while u v u

though yeah, I do remember the old fanfictions and the old things I used to draw ; - ; they were horrible

yes, I still want to know where Tara is now, but it's not to mock her, but to merely see how much she has, or hasn't improved u v u though I've stopped my 'journey' a long time ago

hopefully she's doing okay and making something out of herself c:
floraldarkness Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013
I KNEW there was something suspicious about your sudden ability to spell.
LordOfstamps Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2013
I always knew you weren't Tara. Your butchered writing was different from hers.
Yeah,my early fanfics were HORRIBLE. You do got a point there. Alot of fanfic writers wrote crap early on.
DarkAkito Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Nicely put. Oh God, I remember my horrible fanfics. My first one had the worst grammer and spelling, it rivals MI.
NuclearDuckie Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
I don't think I've done any of those things listed in the middle paragraph. Why do you assume that we all write fan fiction?
Kahara-kun Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
I don't know what's more amazing, the fact that I resonated so well with what you wrote, or the fact that I had the patients to read it all. Honestly at this point in my life I had forgotten all about this page, about MI, about Tara. I hadn't so much as thought about any of this for a good, long time. Makes me yearn for a simpler time, before college. Ah, such good memories.

Anyway, thanks for this. Thank you for a well worded message, thank you for making me actually think about something other than school work, and thank you for making me remember the hours I "wasted" reading and enjoying such a bad, fun piece of art.
Myrrh-vandestalkin Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
Man. Without this huge post, this could have been an everlasting social experiment. I was only curious about her, she was an interesting person to say the least. I wish I only knew who she was so I could read what she's become.
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