Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconthdarkmaiden: More from thdarkmaiden


Featured in Collections

deth not by xXBlodyNitemareXx




Details

Submitted on
January 2, 2010
File Size
1.3 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
4,496
Favourites
12 (who?)
Comments
132
×
hello, My name is Akumu Tara Tenshi. (Akumu means Nightmare in Japanese. Tara is my nickname and but it's not Jpaanese. Tenshi means Angel in Japanese. So my name means Nightmare Angel.) I'm 19 years old and I go to To-oh university, where L and Light also go. My hair is dark melanoid starless (that means black) and my eyes are a deep cerise that are framed with dark, thick long eyelashes. My skin is ivory and smooth, in a single layer over my slightly bronounced bones. I'm sort of toll at 5'8", and I weigh 100 pouds (I'm not anroexic but I'm just skinny.) and I have curves in the right places. But they're not excessive. Also I go to To-oh university. I'm really smart but I'm not at the top of my class becasue I don't do my work because I usual rebel, not like that geek Light (lol).

Anyway I was alking down the courtyard one day and L was walking along too. "Hi Akumu!" he said enthustiastically, coming over and smiling.

"Hi L," I said kinda flirtily.

"So, I was wondering-" he started. But then my friend Yume called me, and L couldn't figure out his sentence because Light and that stupid prep Misa called him away.
chapter 1 of my death note sotry

please read review

-tara

btw thx to my friend for helping me with it. she helped with alot of the typos.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Tara, if this is you...do us all a favor and write non-fanfiction stories. Actually strike that...thanks to you I don't feel bad about having worse English than my Romanian beta.
Reply
:iconthdarkmaiden:
thdarkmaiden Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
Anyone can write whatever they want. Sorry toots.
Reply
:iconsevslover6195:
Sevslover6195 Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
True.
Reply
:iconaskelisabeththompson:
you make a good effort, I can see you put alot of work into this and I admire that. you show alot of promise so keep trying! as a fellow fanfiction writer I can't wait to see you progress and get better as time goes on. keep writing hunny bun!
Reply
:iconthdarkmaiden:
thdarkmaiden Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
xD
Reply
:icontenshi-no-shini:
Tenshi-no-Shini Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2012
I have problems with this already:

This sounds too much like My Immortal.
Misa is not a prep she is a gothic lolita.
You've made your OC too much of a Mary Sue already.
The chapter is too short.
I HATE Misa as well since she is pathetic and acts like a whore but her dress sense is great!
I write fanfics too and even if I dislike a character I don't spend all my time dissing them so lay of Misa
Reply
:iconthdarkmaiden:
thdarkmaiden Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
I have problems with you already:

You're elitist.
You really like labels.
You haven't defined what makes her a Mary Sue.
Chapters are chapters, man. Ever heard of vignettes?
Slut shaming! Yaaaay!
Can't stop won't stop.
Reply
:icondeathnoterikkupie:
DeathNoteRikkuPie Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
one word to sum her character up? MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE MARY-SUE! You agree?
Reply
:icontenshi-no-shini:
Tenshi-no-Shini Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
Defos! She need to learn how to write properly too!
Reply
:iconilikeadechewamnomnom:
OH HELL NO!!! You -if you REALLY are Tara- already fucked with Harry Potter do you know how many time I had to read those books and watch the movies again JUST to get cannon back in my head!! YOU CAN'T FUCK UP MY DEATH NOTE!!! L is MY husband!!!!! Misa is not a prep she's just not doom and gloom I hate life *cut cut cut* they're are other (I hate this word) labels besides prep and emo (no you are not goth you are emo and you are emo for attention which pisses me off because other people have REASONS to cut not you) I'm skater which is neither so you need to stop writing until you take an English class. BAI!!!!
Reply
Add a Comment: